Review #5 Total Recall (2012)

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Directed by- Len Wiseman

Starring- Colin Farrell, Jessica Biel, Kate Beckinsale, Bookem Woodbine and Bryan Cranston.

I was hoping I would like this. I did not. I didn’t care about the movie. I didn’t care about the characters. I didn’t care about Colin Farrell and Jessica Biel. There was no way I was emotionally invested in this movie. I’m not going to bother explaining the plot. It was crap. Philip K. Dick is turning in his grave. The Schwarzenegger one was much much better. I actually cared about what happened to him, and more exciting things happened to him, and as a result, I cared. The majority of movies seem to be sequels or remakes or spinoffs. This was not a successful remake. With remakes I think they should either resemble the original completely, or be different enough for it to be a movie in its own right. It’s a tv show, but I really like Sherlock. The fact that times have changed is important enough for me not to be hung up on Conan Doyle’s books, but I can still appreciate how the character of Holmes can function in modern times.

I have few positives for Total Recall. The effects were good, I liked the futuristic feel of the UFB, the flying cars and anti-gravity travel pod was pretty cool. In fact, I thought the landscape was more like Blade Runner than the Arnie version. Although, the police guards resembled the stormtroopers from Return of the Jedi a little too much for my liking. The film was too political. Don’t get me wrong, having studied it, I love politics. But for me, Total Recall (the original, I haven’t read the book), isn’t about a futuristic fascist state like in Equilibrium or 1984. It’s about the simulation of a holiday/different life, and the implantation of different memories into the person’s brain. And Colin Farrell was running around trying to do a thousand different things at once, it felt like he couldn’t really dedicate enough of his time to finding out who he is and was trying to save the world instead.

Biggest problem with this movie- they don’t go to Mars. This BEYOND offended me. The best part of the original movie took place on Mars. That was kind of the climax of the movie, and to be honest, was what made it? The three breasted woman was there for all of twenty seconds, and they were running around too much for me to be able to properly be bothered to pay attention to what was going on.

No. No. No. No. 2 stars.

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